So, yesterday I began a new chapter in our lives here in Clermont, FL We (I mean me, but my boys are willing to do it, too) are starting to get healthy. The first step in this journey is to get rid of as many processed foods and preservatives as possible from our diets. When Jim moved to Florida in January of 2017 we began the process of moving my Mom to a condo in Jackson from her home of 40 years in Redford, MI. We got her into her condo in February and for the first time in 5 years Stephen and I were able to do eat the way we wanted. Mom likes boxed rice, hamburger helper and whatever else that is easy. I didn't understand why it mattered to her, since I was doing the cooking but it had to be her way (more on that later). Stephen and I began to eat healthier. I fixed fewer carbs and more salads. No processed foods. I began reading the labels and if there were ingredients I couldn't pronounce I didn't use them. Strangely enough I began to feel a little better.
The time that Jim was in Florida and we were in MI would have been stressful in the best of circumstances but these were absolutely NOT the best of circumstances. Moving my Mother first, cleaning out her house, having garage sales, packing and repacking our stuff, cleaning the house to become sale-ready, dealing with realtors, showing the house, finish packing. All of this was before Jim even came back to get us. By the time he returned the only thing he really had left to do was his office and one of the 3 garages. Stephen and I did it all, with the help of a few friends.
I was in pain. My cardiac enzymes were climbing fast. I was on heart medication for the first time. I was scared. I was afraid to go to sleep at night for fear Stephen would find me dead in the morning. The only one who knew how bad I was was Jim. You may ask, "Why didn't you ask for help?" I did! Over and over again! Help didn't come. There was one friend who always showed up. Other than that an hour here or an hour there. (Unfortunately, this is what people with chronic illness live with. People get tired of helping. It is a fact of life.) Finally, Jim's former boss flew Jim home for a weekend. That was a huge help!
After Mom moved into her condo, I decided to try to begin eating in a style known as "farm to table" because I had done some research on it and getting away from pesticides and preservatives is the best thing for people with compromised immune systems. The chemicals reek havoc on our systems and make our immune systems weaker. So we began to make changes. I bought organic when possible. I didn't buy pre-packaged foods. I prepared food in advance to make it easier when I was exhausted.
We knew from experience that small changes can help. I have a pretty severe mold allergy and we found out that bread from the grocery store contains mold shortly after the time it is put in the bags. We began buying bread from a local bakery. We reserved it fresh and they wouldn't cut and bag it until we arrived to pick it up. Then we immediately brought it home and put it in the freezer. Sounds simple enough. It was, for the most part. We would order 5 loaves and when they were almost gone we would order more.
Then we moved to Florida. We lost our bakery. Now Capri Italian Bakery in Dearborn Michigan wasn't quite so simple. I went for a drive one day when we were living in Tavares, FL and found a bakery called Yalaha (ya-LAH-ha) in—you guessed it—Yalaha, FL (Can't sneeze when you drive through or you will miss it). It was a sweet little German style bakery. I went in and got a loaf of their toasting bread. It was wonderful and we thought YEAH! We found the bakery. It was literally 10 minutes from our house, closer than the bakery in MI. The problem was, we weren't settled in Tavares (te-VARE-eez). That had never been our target area and I wasn't happy there. We finally found our home in Clermont. We moved in December 2017. Clermont is 35 minutes from the bakery. Yes it is still doable but definitely not as convenient.
When we began talking about going back to the farm to table, (we got away from it during the chaos of the past year) I decided in my own head (Jim didn't know I was thinking about this) that I was going to attempt to make my own bread. I have a Kitchen Aid stand mixer and I make rolls and pizza crust in it so why not bread? That was what I was thinking. I searched and found a couple of recipes and I waited until we began the new lifestyle. That was yesterday.
Last night Jim took Stephen to church in Mount Dora for youth group. The church is about 50 minutes away (20 from Tavares but we moved, remember?) so whoever takes him sits and waits or runs errands while he is there, and 3 hours later we bring him home (5 months until he can drive!) I began preparing stuff for this week. I made Caprese salad (a favorite of Stephens), cut up fruit for the week, cleaned out the fridge, made dinner for when the boys got home, and I made bread. 😝
I followed the recipe exactly. I never do that. I put the yeast in warm water (110∘) and sugar. I premixed the other stuff in a separate bowl. I used bread flour as specified.
I let it rise in a warm place.
It didn't.
I kneaded it again and let it rise again.
It still didn't.
I thought, OK, this isn't what happens when I make rolls but I am still going to see what happens.
Nope! I was disappointed and frustrated. I had used every ounce of stamina I had for the day making this and fixing the other food for the week. It was so dense and heavy. I tasted OK but was not what I wanted. I almost cried.
Then I made a decision. I am already tired. I already hurt. I am going to be tired and hurt if I go sit down. THIS IS NOT A HIGHER LIFE FORM! Bread will not defeat me!
I washed the mixer, washed the utensils I needed, got all of the ingredients out of the pantry and refrigerator, found a new recipe and began again. I got it done and put it in the microwave (not turned on) to rise. I peeked at it after 20 minutes and it was HUGE!!!! This one was going to work! It told me to let it rise for 20 minutes and then divide it in half, form the loaves, oil the tops, lightly cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2-12 hours. After 2 hours it had gotten even bigger! By now Jim and Stephen were home and we were all laughing at this stuff. It reminded me of the I Love Lucy episode where she made bread. So we baked it!
It was AMAZING!
I didn't give up. I didn't let something that people say is difficult or impossible to do win. I kept trying. I guess that is the lesson to be learned here.
People with chronic illness and chronic pain have to fight through obstacles that healthy people never think about. What a healthy person can do without thinking takes much effort for us. Sometimes we have to plan ahead for days to just clean the house. It isn't easy but we do it. WHY? Because we don't give up.
I am continuing to fight and I WILL win. If bread making wont defeat me neither will chronic illness.
Write to you all again soon.
Vikki
Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10
The time that Jim was in Florida and we were in MI would have been stressful in the best of circumstances but these were absolutely NOT the best of circumstances. Moving my Mother first, cleaning out her house, having garage sales, packing and repacking our stuff, cleaning the house to become sale-ready, dealing with realtors, showing the house, finish packing. All of this was before Jim even came back to get us. By the time he returned the only thing he really had left to do was his office and one of the 3 garages. Stephen and I did it all, with the help of a few friends.
I was in pain. My cardiac enzymes were climbing fast. I was on heart medication for the first time. I was scared. I was afraid to go to sleep at night for fear Stephen would find me dead in the morning. The only one who knew how bad I was was Jim. You may ask, "Why didn't you ask for help?" I did! Over and over again! Help didn't come. There was one friend who always showed up. Other than that an hour here or an hour there. (Unfortunately, this is what people with chronic illness live with. People get tired of helping. It is a fact of life.) Finally, Jim's former boss flew Jim home for a weekend. That was a huge help!
After Mom moved into her condo, I decided to try to begin eating in a style known as "farm to table" because I had done some research on it and getting away from pesticides and preservatives is the best thing for people with compromised immune systems. The chemicals reek havoc on our systems and make our immune systems weaker. So we began to make changes. I bought organic when possible. I didn't buy pre-packaged foods. I prepared food in advance to make it easier when I was exhausted.
We knew from experience that small changes can help. I have a pretty severe mold allergy and we found out that bread from the grocery store contains mold shortly after the time it is put in the bags. We began buying bread from a local bakery. We reserved it fresh and they wouldn't cut and bag it until we arrived to pick it up. Then we immediately brought it home and put it in the freezer. Sounds simple enough. It was, for the most part. We would order 5 loaves and when they were almost gone we would order more.
Then we moved to Florida. We lost our bakery. Now Capri Italian Bakery in Dearborn Michigan wasn't quite so simple. I went for a drive one day when we were living in Tavares, FL and found a bakery called Yalaha (ya-LAH-ha) in—you guessed it—Yalaha, FL (Can't sneeze when you drive through or you will miss it). It was a sweet little German style bakery. I went in and got a loaf of their toasting bread. It was wonderful and we thought YEAH! We found the bakery. It was literally 10 minutes from our house, closer than the bakery in MI. The problem was, we weren't settled in Tavares (te-VARE-eez). That had never been our target area and I wasn't happy there. We finally found our home in Clermont. We moved in December 2017. Clermont is 35 minutes from the bakery. Yes it is still doable but definitely not as convenient.
When we began talking about going back to the farm to table, (we got away from it during the chaos of the past year) I decided in my own head (Jim didn't know I was thinking about this) that I was going to attempt to make my own bread. I have a Kitchen Aid stand mixer and I make rolls and pizza crust in it so why not bread? That was what I was thinking. I searched and found a couple of recipes and I waited until we began the new lifestyle. That was yesterday.
Last night Jim took Stephen to church in Mount Dora for youth group. The church is about 50 minutes away (20 from Tavares but we moved, remember?) so whoever takes him sits and waits or runs errands while he is there, and 3 hours later we bring him home (5 months until he can drive!) I began preparing stuff for this week. I made Caprese salad (a favorite of Stephens), cut up fruit for the week, cleaned out the fridge, made dinner for when the boys got home, and I made bread. 😝
I followed the recipe exactly. I never do that. I put the yeast in warm water (110∘) and sugar. I premixed the other stuff in a separate bowl. I used bread flour as specified.
I let it rise in a warm place.
It didn't.
I kneaded it again and let it rise again.
It still didn't.
I thought, OK, this isn't what happens when I make rolls but I am still going to see what happens.
Nope! I was disappointed and frustrated. I had used every ounce of stamina I had for the day making this and fixing the other food for the week. It was so dense and heavy. I tasted OK but was not what I wanted. I almost cried.
Then I made a decision. I am already tired. I already hurt. I am going to be tired and hurt if I go sit down. THIS IS NOT A HIGHER LIFE FORM! Bread will not defeat me!
I washed the mixer, washed the utensils I needed, got all of the ingredients out of the pantry and refrigerator, found a new recipe and began again. I got it done and put it in the microwave (not turned on) to rise. I peeked at it after 20 minutes and it was HUGE!!!! This one was going to work! It told me to let it rise for 20 minutes and then divide it in half, form the loaves, oil the tops, lightly cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2-12 hours. After 2 hours it had gotten even bigger! By now Jim and Stephen were home and we were all laughing at this stuff. It reminded me of the I Love Lucy episode where she made bread. So we baked it!
I didn't give up. I didn't let something that people say is difficult or impossible to do win. I kept trying. I guess that is the lesson to be learned here.
People with chronic illness and chronic pain have to fight through obstacles that healthy people never think about. What a healthy person can do without thinking takes much effort for us. Sometimes we have to plan ahead for days to just clean the house. It isn't easy but we do it. WHY? Because we don't give up.
I am continuing to fight and I WILL win. If bread making wont defeat me neither will chronic illness.
Write to you all again soon.
Vikki
Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10
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